Posted by: Sarah Lee | January 29, 2010

Five five-star riddles

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So here I am staying in a lovely five star hotel in Tenerife for the BGTW‘s AGM. Take a look at La Plantacion del Sur – it really is very nice. Now before you sit in awe at a slightly spoilt travel journalist spouting about the hardships of staying at a five star hotel, let me say now – this is not a moan. And these things are by no means restricted to this hotel, they’re merely five observations of strange features of five star hotels found the world over:

Get switched on at a five star hotel

  1. My room has 23 light switches. Why!? That’s more light switches than I have in my whole house. There really is no need, and many of us spent a long time trying to turn off all the lights before bed on the first night. One switch by the bed that turns off every light in the room will do nicely. 23 is neither big, nor clever.
  2. Double rooms with single beds: What is this all about!? You book a double room to share a bed with your loved one only to find you have two beds pushed closely together. Though you may think you can just push them together completely it’s never going to work if you have to battle with two sets of tucked in sheets and the fear that one of you will inevitably fall down the gap in the dead of night.
  3. No in-room wifi: Ok so major props to this hotel as it has free internet throughout (wired in-room and wifi in public areas), but surely in-room wifi is par for the course in a quality hotel these days.
  4. A nice cuppa: Forget making your own drinks. Tea and coffee making facilities are often hard to find in-room. The hotel I’m staying in only provides them in their suites. Come on, we’re British – we need tea!
  5. Telephones in toilets: this is a sign of a true luxury hotel. But, short of any Elvis-styled emergencies, I really can’t see myself using the phone while on the throne. Never. Ever.

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  1. Couldn’t agree more. In Spanish hotels, the phone-in-loo thing is a requirement for 5-stars I think. Goodness knows why. And it’s really rare to have a kettle/coffee maker – even in suites. And we need it!

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